The Desi A-Team

A crack commando unit was sent to Coventry by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Southall underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of misfortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Desi A-Team.

Vin was deep in a mid life crisis, his personality had undergone an overnight transition from a happy go lucky chap to a cynical old git who felt the whole world was against him. On top of this, the social life of a company accountant was becoming an unbearable burden and Vin was desperate to escape from this corporate and domestic servitude. He tried calling the Samaritans but the line was continuously engaged, now there was only one option left - the Desi A-Team.

After leaving messages in a national newspaper Vin finally made contact with the Desi A Team, and a meeting was arranged to take place at a secret location. Col. John "Hannibal" Manohar disguised as a mango selling street trader on the busy Southall Broadway made contact with Vin and promised to help this distressed individual.

At the Heston sevices on the westbound carriageway of the M4 Col. John "Hannibal" Manohar then met the rest of the Desi A-Team in the black and metallic grey people carrier. Lt. Fiaz "The Faceman", Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Q and Sgt. B.A. "Bad Attitude" Asif. The team went to task on developing a plan to help poor old Vin in his escape to freedom.

Climb a mountain to be free

The Desi A-Team were going to take Vin to Scafell Pike in the lake district and trek to the top of the highest peak in England. This walk in the great outdoors, in the company of some of the finest macho men was sure going to do the trick, B.A. Asif also recruited the services of Naveed the finest bush tracker in the northern hemisphere, who had won the accolade of tracking down Dubya to a white coloured building in Washington DC a few years earlier.

“I love it when a plan comes together” - Col. John "Hannibal" Manohar

The Desi A-team completed the circular trek from Seathwaite in Burrodale to the summit of Scafell Pike with no map. Despite getting lost and travelling for miles in the wrong direction, they were able to prove that the ancient Roman theory of all paths leading to/from Scafell Pike firmly hold truth.

“I got no time for the jibba-jabba” Sgt. B.A. "Bad Attitude" Asif

Sgt. B.A Asif was displaying his customary bad attitude, and when Vin who was a novice trekker started to fall behind the drill sergeants mannerism was evident with B.A hurling abuse at poor old Vin.

“OPEN THOSE BLOODY LEGS AND MARCH……NOTHING IS GOING TO FALL OUT”

Such harsh and offensive language began to take its toll on the mild mannered accountant Vin, as he began to fall behind and decided he would be better off marching solo.

“Life's tough, but I'm tougher!” Sgt. B.A. "Bad Attitude" Asif

In the shadows of the mountain do evil witches lurk, and they sensed their prey when the tired Vin came shuffling along. With the Desi A-Team clearly out of sight and the evening dusk gently creeping in, Vin was befriended by the legendary Blair Witch who enticed him with kind words and promises of greatness. But this was all a false pretence as the evil spirits started to gather around Vin and held him captive on the mountain top against his will.

Vin’s desperate cries for help were heard by the faceman Fiaz who accompanied by Col. John "Hannibal" Manohar, went on a highly dangerous search and rescue mission. With no communications coming through from either party, the tension was becoming intolerable for B.A. and Howling Mad Q. In the end they decided to arm themselves with the latest technological gadgetry including heat sensitive night visions, a Swiss army knife and the latest Chinese made telescopic trekking poles and went in search of their fallen colleagues.

The Desi A-Team knew that you never ever leave a soldier behind, and their immense bravery in returning to the mountain to fight off the evil Blair Witch and rescue their struggling colleagues will forever live in the annals of military history.